Monster
by fr0-power
Summary: Hayley has a breakdown after the Farro Brothers leave, but can the person that's destroying her the only person to save her?


**Hayley**

They were leaving. It was all going to be leaving. It's because I was fat wasn't it? And ugly, and I took up all the publicity, they hated me for that. They all hated me for that, not just Josh and Zac, who were leaving. What if Taylor and Jeremy left? The whole band would be gone, done. I didn't want a solo career. I wanted it to be like it was in high school, all fun and games.

I laid in bed and cried so hard I was gasping for air. I curled up in a ball on the floor, my eyes practically puffing out of my head. I ran to the bathroom. Where was a razor? I needed a razor. All I had was the razor I shaved my legs with. I grabbed it and sniffed as I cut hard into my thighs and legs.

I cried myself to unsettling sleep after that, seeing their faces now and then in my dreams, making me cringe.

**Jeremy**

Why wasn't Hayley picking up? I was worried about the girl. Ever since Josh's blog post, we hadn't talked.

"Hayley?" I said, leaving a voicemail, "Look, I'm really worried about you. Seriously, pick up, or Taylor and me and coming over. Seriously, just answer, I don't care how. Bye."

I dropped the iPhone in my lap and rubbed my eyes. Hayley must have been taking this hard. She placed all this trust in one of her best friends, her ex-boyfriend, for God's sake, and he destroyed her all in one blog post. I shook my head and tried calling her just one more time…

**Taylor**

That was it. I was going over to Hayley's apartment. I stopped at Jeremy's to pick him up first. He walked out of the door slowly, with a horrible afraid look in his eyes. He opened the door.

"What's wrong man?" I knew it was about Hayley, we were all worried about Hayley, why did I even ask?

"It's Hayley, dude," Jeremy shook his head.

"Well… let's just go and hope for the best," I pressed down on the gas hard, going fast. I honestly didn't know what to expect. I was preparing for the worst.

**Hayley**

I couldn't open my eyes, they were glued close from all the tears. I flinched as I heard my door open. Who could be here? A serial killer? A crazy fan? I didn't care, just let me die.

"Hail-Bail?" I heard Jeremy's familiar, sweet voice echo through the apartment. I let out a small moan, still lying on the bathroom floor. I heard loud, quick footsteps. "Oh my God!"

**Taylor**

I walked in to Hayley's bathroom, she was lying in a pool of blood, looking up blankly at the ceiling, blinking a little. Her eyeliner smeared all over her face.

She sniffed, "Hi guys."

I ran to her side, sitting by her. "Jeremy, go get us some washcloths please." Before looking one more time he ran to get them.

"Hayley, why did you do this?" I propped her up against the wall and brushed her hair out of her face.

"I- I," she stuttered, obviously trying to hold back tears, "I wanna die, Taylor. Just let me die."

"No, Hayley, stop, please," tears came to my eyes and my voice broke, "Stop, don't talk like that."

"But," her voice broke too, "I do."

Jeremy came back and began to clean the blood from her legs and the floor, whispering softly to her.

I stepped out of the room, sitting on the couch and putting my face in my hands and letting myself cry.

**Jeremy**

"Hayley," I tried to calm her down by putting a warm cloth on her head and getting her a pillow, "can you explain to me why you did this, please?"

"I did it… because I'm tired, Jeremy, I'm tired," she began to cry again, "People don't get it, I get tired too." She sighed and started shaking.

"Is it because of Josh and Zac?" I asked very quietly.

"Yes."

"Okay, Hayley, I want you to get a shower and some sleep, okay?" She nodded her head a little, "Okay, Taylor I will just be in the living room if you need us."

"No," she shook her head, "Get me Taylor."

**Taylor**

"You needed me?" I walked into the bathroom, Hayley nodded, standing up awkwardly.

"Just- just sit, ok?"

I nodded.

Hayley started taking her clothes off and I looked away until she was in the shower. I tried not to look at her thong lying on the floor.

I listened to her gently humming while the water ran and I closed my eyes and smiled. I loved her voice, and the familiar tune she had been humming since high school, a lullaby her Dad sang to her before he left. She hummed it when she was upset and it calmed her down. But I knew this time it wouldn't calm her.

I realized I had been zoning out so tiredly, that I had been staring at Hayley naked for the past thirty seconds. She cleared her throat and I looked away, blushing.

"Why do you think they left?" She asked.

"I think… I think they just… I honestly don't know."

"Okay." She got dressed and walked to the living room. I followed her.

**Jeremy**

I stood up and smiled at Hayley, whose face was completely lifeless. She tried to smile back, but it looked like it hurt.

She came to sit by me and she put her head on my shoulder, I rubbed her back and she sighed, sniffing. I hoped she wouldn't cry again, it would break my heart.

I held onto her tight, closing my eyes as I felt her tears sock through my thin v-neck. "Please stop Hayley," I said, starting to cry, "Don't do this."

"He- he loved me," she was screaming now into my chest, "I- I trusted him. I loved him."

I grabbed her face, shaking her ask she gasped for breath. "Don't you do that to yourself, Hayley, stop it," I shook her hard as she stuttered and choked, "Don't do this, Hayley, listen to me right now. They're dead to you, they're gone, over, erase them from your mind and don't put yourself through this."

She sniffed, nodding. I let her go and she collapsed into my chest, I held her tight, crying hard myself now.

"We're going to leave now, Hayley," I whispered softly and slowly, "Will you be ok?"

"I'll-… ok," she breathed hard.

I held her face again, "We'll be back tomorrow. Don't do anything rational."

I got up slowly and Taylor and I made our way out of the door.

**Hayley**

I sniffed, sitting on the couch alone. My bright red her smelled like my strawberry shampoo. I lifted my sweatpants, looking at the cuts on my legs, I gasped. I ran my fingers over them and winced. How could I do this to myself? I needed some Aspirin or something. My legs ached badly.

I looked in my medicine cabinet, finding the Aspirin, I took 3, probably too much, but I didn't care. I'd need help sleeping, so I took 2 Excedrin PMs. I was having bad cramps, so I grabbed 3 Menstrual Relief Tablets. While I was at it, I grabbed a beer from the fridge.

I crawled in my huge, empty queen bed, pulling the warm comforter over me, taking sips of beer now and again. I eventually passed into a cold, shaky sleep, feeling sick to my stomach.

**Taylor**

I walked into the apartment, trying to be quiet. I sighed when I saw Hayley in her bed, thankful she wasn't dead on the floor or hanging from her closet or wasn't in her apartment at all. I walked slowly into her room and sat next to her.

I began to brush her bangs out of her face. I then noticed how pale she was, and how sweaty, her breathing was off too. "Hay-Hayley?" I stuttered. What had she done now?

She eyes opened slowly, and she fixed her vision on me, her mouth hanging open, "Taylor."

I grabbed her hand, "What Hayley? What do you need?" I took the covers off of her, she was in a sports bra and shorts, sweat covering her whole body, her skin was a pale-greenish.

My hand shook over my mouth, "Hayley, wh-what have you done?" I picked her up and held her, carrying her to the bathroom and laying her on the cold tile, holding her hand. She jerked up and leaned toward the toilet, I helped her kneel as she vomited everything out.

**Hayley**

There was barely anything to vomit out, basically just water, and I saw a few pills come out as Taylor flushed the toilet.

I couldn't talk, the words were stuck in my throat. I was hungry. I pointed to my stomach and made a sort of choking sound.

"Are you hungry?" Taylor asked, brushing his fingers through my ratted, greasy hair. I nodded. He ran to the kitchen.

A few minutes later he came back with a sandwich, sitting me up against the wall, he tried to help me eat it, failing epically. We both looked down and laughed a little, the first time I had smiled in a while.

"Jeremy?" I managed to get out, looking around for my other best friend.

"He had some stuff to do, I think he went to visit his family or something," Taylor furrowed his eyebrows as he broke the other half of the sandwich into pieces, getting peanut butter all over his hands.

"Thank you," I cleared my throat, thinking I might be able to talk.

We just sat there for a while, looking at eachother.

"I'm broken, Taylor," I said as I let a few tears slip.

"We all brake now and then," Taylor said, smiling at me.

"No, but I'm broken… permanently," my voice cracked.

"Just think… now that they're gone the world is ours," Taylor said, "We'll stop the whole world from turning into monsters like them, we'll prove them wrong."

**Jeremy**

I was in the car, going home from my parents when I decided to call Taylor.

"How is she?" I asked, nervously.

"She- She's bad, Jer," He said, quietly.

I shook my head and closed my eyes, "What happened?"

"I think she took some pills or something. She was vomiting her guts out earlier, and she just said she's broken permanently."

I opened my eyes, remembering I was driving, "I know what to do."

**Taylor**

It was midnight now. Hayley and I were sitting on the couch; I was watching her eat ice cream. When she was finished I took her bowl and took it to the sink.

"I guess you're leaving now," I could feel her eyes on my back.

"No, I'm not," I said, turning around.

"Why?" She rolled her eyes, "Do you think I'm going to kill myself or something? You think you're forced to be here?"

"No," I shook my head, "I want to be here. Unless you don't want me to be here?"

"No, no, no," she said, lifting her hand, "Stay."

I smiled, "You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm tired, though, I want to go to bed."

"Ok."

I followed her to her room, planning to sleep on the floor, but she opened the covers and said, "Come in."

We laid there for a while, looking at the ceiling and making small talk, until she put her head on my chest and said, "I love you, Taylor."

I replied, "I love you too, Hayley."

I knew we weren't talking about boyfriend/girlfriend love. But we did love each other, like brother and sister, and I was so thankful for her.

She fell asleep as I hummed her favorite tune to her.

We didn't do anything, just slept, and I was fine with that, and I knew she was too.

**Hayley**

I woke up the next morning, feeling the same. There wasn't anything miraculously different, even though my best friend was under me. Wait… no he wasn't. Where was he? I heard sizzling in the kitchen and got up to investigate.

Taylor was in the kitchen, making bacon.

"Want some?" He asked and smiled. I smirked and grabbed a plate.

After breakfast, Taylor told me to get dressed and ready for the day. "Why?" I asked. "You'll see later," he replied, trying to hide a smile.

Jeremy came over then, and sat me down on the couch, braiding my hair. I heard the apartment door opened, but I couldn't turn my head, "Who's that?"

He suddenly appeared in front of me. Josh in all his glory, and his loveable sidekick, Zac. I gasped as tears filled my eyes. Josh gave me a little smile, along with Zac. I started bawling and Josh quickly grabbed me, hugging hard. The familiar smell only made me cry harder.

Zac grabbed me now, saying softly, "Hayley, I need you to do us a favor, okay? Are you listening? Can you be okay for us, please? We know, we destroyed you. But this is better for all of us. Will you please be okay?"

"Y-yes," I stuttered, overcome with emotion.

"Okay, thank you," He kissed my head, closing his eyes. I looked up at him and tried to smile.

Josh came again, giving me the longest hug and saying, "Don't hate us. Please Hayley. It wasn't supposed to be this way."

"I know," I sniffed.

"Okay," he whispered, "Goodbye Hayley."

"Goodbye monsters," I closed my eyes.


End file.
